Why We Spiral By Gregory M. Walton (August 18, 2025) --- Overview This article explores the psychological mechanisms that cause people to spiral either downward into negative thoughts and behaviors or upward toward flourishing. It centers on the idea that everyday events trigger deep core questions about identity, belonging, and adequacy, which influence how people interpret experiences, form beliefs, and behave—often unconsciously and automatically. --- Illustrative Scenario Senior at work: 12 minutes late to a Zoom call, greeted warmly by a friend, and moves on. Junior at work: Same situation but greeted with possible snark from the boss and awkward colleague chuckles; takes this as sign of non-belonging, leading to self-doubt and distraction from work. This divergence arises despite the exact same event, highlighting how personal interpretation (construal) colored by underlying core questions can cause spirals. --- The Spiral Process: The Three Cs Core Questions Fundamental personal questions such as: Who am I? Do I belong? Am I enough? These questions shape our identity and sense of self-worth. They can lie dormant but flare during critical times, influencing perception and action. Construal (Meaning Making) We do not perceive events neutrally; instead, we interpret experiences through the lens of current concerns and threats. We exhibit confirmation bias, mostly noticing information that confirms our fears. Ambiguous social cues can be read negatively if core questions are unsettled. Calcification This is the entrenchment of negative beliefs and feelings through behavioral reinforcement: Acting on negative interpretations (e.g., withdrawal, hostile text replies) worsens social interactions. Failures or conflicts become self-confirming, causing a feedback loop. Over time, it can deteriorate relationships, performance, and wellbeing. --- Example of a Negative Spiral Feeling excluded at a meeting triggers doubts about belonging. Misinterpreting ambiguous cues as rejection. Acting defensively or withdrawing. Further negative social feedback confirms fears, causing spiraling down. --- Positive Spirals and "Wise" Interventions These spirals are not inevitable; targeting core questions about belonging and adequacy with small but strategic psychological interventions can launch upward spirals. Research shows brief, targeted activities can yield long-term benefits: 21 minutes improving marriage a year later. One-page letters reducing juvenile justice involvement. Postcards cutting suicide rates by half over years. Early college belonging reflections boosting life satisfaction and career success a decade later. --- Personal Reflection: The “Tifbit” Phenomenon Author shares a personal story feeling excluded by unfamiliar In-N-Out burger truck at college. Suggests that minor facts (“tifbits” = tiny fact, big theory) often reflect deeper unsettled core questions, such as homesickness or belonging. Recognizing and addressing these deeper questions can help avoid negative spirals. --- Practical Takeaways Core identity questions function like lenses filtering social perception. Awareness of these processes allows for redirecting interpretations and breaking negative spirals early. Empathy and small supportive gestures can help others shift towards positive spirals. Psychological interventions that address core questions directly are powerful tools for long-term wellbeing and success. --- About the Author Gregory M. Walton Michael Forman University Fellow and professor of psychology at Stanford University. His research focuses on psychological processes that contribute to social problems and how brief “wise” interventions can promote flourishing. --- Further Reading Walton,